Project Cohabitation 2007

Dear Peter,

With Project Cohabitation 2007 well on its way to full execution there are some things you should know about my domestic habits. It's been a while since we've shared a daily routine, so let's consider this a reminder of just how... special I am. My housemates have helped me compile a list of my most salient traits. You should be prepared to be accept the following:

1) Repetition

I will forget that I've told you things, and I will repeat them. I picked up milk today at the store. Oh yeah, and by the way I picked up some milk. At the store.

I will listen to the same song/album/playlist until I know every lyric by heart. Subsequently I will burst into song at any given time. I'll try not to sing at you, because I know that can get really annoying. But no matter how public or unsuitable the setting may seem, I will sing there. It's unavoidable.

2) Hyper-focus Mode

Sometimes when I'm really concentrating on something it's as if the rest of the universe, with the exception of that One Thing, has frozen and will wait to continue its activity until I'm through focusing on that One Thing. Hyper-focus Mode is related to Ignoring the Needs of Others Mode. In fact, you might wish always to refer to Hyper-focus Mode under this alternate name, and if I'm not too caught up focusing on that One Thing I might get your point. That One Thing could be anything from a Sudoku puzzle to a work email to a riveting "Nutrition Facts" label.

3) Lengthy Telephone Conversations

At some point in our relationship you will witness me having a phone conversation with my mother. If you have the stamina, that is. Let me just walk you through a more than probable scenario. The phone rings on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Awww. It's my mother. Hi Mom, so good to hear from you..............I'm fine..............Uh-huh..................Uh-huh................Yep........................He's good..................................Work's goo.......Good, work's good ........................................Uhhhh-hmmmmmm..............................................................................................
The sun will rise and set several times during this conversation without my noticing. Eventually I will emerge from the bedroom parched and starved, muscles atrophed, incapable of completing a sentence. You may have to help me reinstall my vocabulary, little by little.

4) I'll be ready in one minute...

I won't be ready. It just won't happen. Don't be fooled.

5) Early to Bed, Early to Rise

It's Friday night, we're playing a cutthroat game of Scrabble. You're about to use all your letters in a single word when I fall asleep in the dictionary. You may succeed in reviving me, a useless jumble of Qs and Xs plastered to my cheek, but I will not seem human because I will have worked myself to exhaustion. Odds are I woke up before 5am that morning. Odds are I'll do the same the next day. And so the vicious cycle of utter geekdom continues.

To ProCo'07!

Smooches,
M